Boundaries: Rabbit and Snake Metaphor
By: Michelle L. Taylor, M.S., PCCI 2018
I received from a therapist one of the best metaphors for setting boundaries with chronic boundary offenders.
It’s a story of a rabbit and a snake.
A snake came to a rabbit’s door yelling, “Let me in! Let me in! I’m cold and want a warm place to sleep!”
The rabbit replied, “No way. You’ll eat me. You ate my mother, my brother, and my baby already.”
“No I won’t, I promise. I’ll just lay in the corner until the morning and then I’ll leave,” the snake pleaded.
“No,” the rabbit said.
“I swear, I promise I’ll leave you in peace,” the snake said again.
The rabbit gave in, feeling sorry for the snake and believing the snake’s words. The snake came in, thanking the rabbit and curled up in the corner to sleep.
The next morning, the rabbit awoke because the snake was wrapping himself around the rabbit’s body.
“Wait! You promised!” the rabbit pleaded.
“Yes, I did,” replied the snake, “But, at the end of the day, I’m still a snake”.
How can we set boundaries with people who tend to overstep boundaries? Oftentimes, when we try to do the right thing, we end up getting hurt because we allow our boundaries to be weak when we have past history that shows otherwise.
When you’re dealing with snakes, it’s important to know what they are capable of. At the end of the day, no matter how nice the snake may be, a snake is a snake. I’m not a snake handler myself, but I do know that if I were around one, I would cautiously keep my distance and hopefully have on a lot of protective gear. It takes a lot to build up trust after trust has been broken.
The same rules can be applied to those people in your life that take advantage of you. Be cautious, be firm, and know, at the end of the day, who are you dealing with.
(I hope snake lovers are not offended by this metaphor. But, I found it helpful to use with clients.)
–Michelle L. Taylor, M.S., PCCI 2018
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